Tying a Neater Knot: Prenuptial Agreements

Getting divorced is considerably more time consuming and costly than getting married because you have to sort out the legal rights and responsibilities created by marriage.  One way to understand prenuptial agreements (aka premarital agreement, antenuptial agreement, prenup) is to think of them as sorting out all those legal rights and responsibilities before you even create them.  I like to think of it as tying a neater knot.

A prenup is an agreement in which you and your partner set out the rules that will govern your property, debts, income, and expenses, among other things.  If you don’t set out these rules, the state of Massachusetts will set them for you (Chapter 208 of the Massachusetts General Laws).    

Though I don’t think premarital agreements are for everyone, the flexibility they provide families is a big selling point for me.  This tool can help partners keep separate debt, or separate property separate.  This provides a lot of protection for you and your beloved.  You can set support obligations (though not child support) for you or your partner.  In my mind, something that is very important, is that you can do this while you are on good terms.  You’re not playing “win as much as you can,” instead, you’re taking an honest look at where you are, and where you think you should be in the future. 

So how exactly do you tie a neater knot?

The first thing is to talk to your family lawyer.  Like I said, I don’t think prenups are for everyone.  Consult with your lawyer about whether its a good idea for you.  If it is a good fit for you.  Each of you should have your own attorney.  In a premarital agreement, you’re looking for a document that is good for and protective of not only you, but the new family you’re about to form.  Thats why I recommend you ask your family lawyer is she knows anyone to recommend for your partner.  You want lawyers who can work together to come up with the best agreement for each of you , but also for the new unit which is both of you.

Next, decide what is important to each of you and to both of you, maybe make a list.  For example, spousal support, a family business, pets? Decide what is important and how you want to deal with it in the event of divorce or death. 

You will each also need a thorough and complete inventory of your assets and liabilities.  Your lawyers will probably have a form for you to fill out.  Many marriages break-up over differences dealing with money.  This is a good time to have a discussion about money, income, debt, and how you each view these things, what they mean to you, what you’re comfortable with etc…

Make sure you provide plenty of time.  Rushed signing on the eve of the wedding are one reason prenups get struck down by courts.

Lastly, trust your gut – one way or the other.  One way to know when a prenup is not for you, is that you’re dead set against it.